There are so many reasons why we shouldn’t have tried again. The first time my partner and I tried to conceive, I was plunged into the darkest moment of my life. That sounds like an overstatement, but it’s pretty accurate. My entire upbringing was based on the idea that I would be a fully formed woman only when I gave birth to a child.
None of my accomplishments—no diploma, no publication, no job title would garner anywhere near the validation my relatives gave to each woman in my family who gave birth. I would remain a young adult, never a full-fledged woman, until I did this one thing. It wasn’t until I tried and failed to conceive that I realized how deeply flawed and damaging such a narrow definition of womanhood could be.